Gus's First Holy Communion

Sunday was a wonderful day for the family! It was Mother's Day and also the day my 4th child received his first Holy Communion. I must say that it was the best Mother's Day gift ever! The tears flowed as I watched my excited son approach Fr. John..hands extended and and full of expectation. Afterwards, Gus entered the pew and exclaimed, "Mom! Jesus tastes good!"

Yes, Gus, he most certainly does.

May we all remember the excitement of our first Holy Communion, now and until the end of our days.

How 'ya doin?

After the wonderful Easter Vigil, our dear family friend Fr. Scott approached me and said, "Do you know what your oldest son did tonight?" I looked at him with dread and said, "Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

He told me anyway.

When 12 year old Nick came up for communion, Fr. Scott raised the host and said, "Body of Christ."

Nick replied in a most honest and sincere way, leaned in and said, " Amen. So, how 'ya doin?"

Yep, my son Nick wanted to start a conversation with the priest in the middle of communion. Totally clueless. Totally sincere. I just love that kid because it all comes from innocence and sweetness.

That whole incident got me to thinking about Nick and his true self. Nick comes by all of this honestly. He has no real sense of the sacred, but neither does his poor mother. It's all learned. I mean, the part that amuses me so much is the many urges I've had over the years to receive communion with more than just an "Amen". Sometimes when I see a Eucharistic minister I know well, I have to hold my spirited self back from saying something similar to "how 'ya doin oh, and thanks for Jesus!" It just seems like the natural thing to do. This person is giving you the most amazing gift of all so it seems appropriate that they receive a hug, embrace, a wink, smile, kiss on the cheek or whatever! It is an intimate act that has profound meaning which has the relational aspect to it suppressed for practical reasons.

What is more interesting is the quiet understated receiving that I have witnessed over the years both as a teenage Eucharistic minister and as an observant adult. That relational piece always finds its way out, which gives me joy that there is more than an 'Amen' going on in the hearts of the faithful. There is real joy, hope, peace in receiving. I've seen tears streaming from older faces, excitement from the first holy communicants, desperation from those truly seeking God, humility, those walking on their knees for miles to receive and blatant disinterest. It's all good; part of the journey; part of what we relate to as human beings.

All in all, a good strong AMEN has it all covered. Nick and I can keep it short, sweet and to the point...but when the innocent blurt out a random comment or smile...there is our God....saying, how 'ya doin. I love you. It is perfect, so, so perfect.

True wealth

I was at my favorite bagel place yesterday with Henry and while there, we enjoyed the blissful taste of a butter bagel, juice and baked Lay's. As usual, Henry smiled at everyone in the store and enjoyed simple banter with the patrons. His chubby arms waved, his plump legs galloped toward the well-known employees, and his playful eyes beams with happiness. There is always someone who shouts out, "Hi Henry! How's the chick magnet today?" After we received our order, we found our "special" booth and sat down. As I ate my treat, I watched every move my my baby boy made. Every wiggle, every expression, babble or laugh....I soaked in every second of this special time. Just Henry and I. Together. How well I know how fast the years go by.

After a few minutes, Henry decided to insert himself in the conversation happening between two middle aged women in the booth behind. He smiled and played peek-a-boo with the ladies. But I quickly stopped him so that he would not disturb them too much.

As we got up to leave, I felt a tug on my sleeve and I soon discovered that it was the woman in the booth behind me. She looked at me, smiled and said these simple, but true words.

"You are a rich woman."

The words resounded inside of me. She told me something that I already knew...five-fold. But somehow when a stranger stops you out of the blue and says something like that out loud, it makes me feel as if this message was somehow divinely inspired. A message from the Almighty straight to my heart. I do feel like a rich woman, regardless of material goods or money.

The recent economic crisis has caused doubt, fear, and uncertainty, but being truly rich with family? Well, there is nothing uncertain about that...and no one can take your family away. I have never felt more rich in my whole life. Every time I look in my baby's eyes. I am the Queen!

Beachy keen!

Ahhh, vacation. A long and well deserved one for the family on the Emerald Isle Beach in North Carolina. There is nothing like the feel of sand between your toes, the sound of crashing waves on the shore, the sun bearing down on your shoulders, the sheer joy of my children's laughter and the inevitable discovery of a gallon of sand found in your swimsuit bottom. (How does it ever get in there?)

There is not much to do at the beach other that lay on it, play in it, walk on it, search for shells or sit on it and stare into the abyss of never ending ocean. I escaped one afternoon for a short walk on part of the the 12 mile shore of Emerald Isle I enjoyed the rush of water pushing at my feet creating a sinking feeling in the sand. The wind blew against my face-like God giving me a big bear hug. My feet carried my body down the long expanse of the beach. How quickly my footprints disappeared, swallowed up by the surf!

It's short moments of quiet like those that give me perspective on life. As I looked toward my family 100 feet away playing on the beach I realized how amazingly perfect my life is.....how I would never want to be anywhere else but with them. How God had managed to surprise me in wonderful ways that I could have never planned. Had anyone ever told me at 20 years old that I would one day be the mom of five kids, living in a state of which I never gave a second thought, with a man who was created beautifully, but completely opposite in personality than me, working part-time in a low paying job with an amazing group of middle school youth..I would have told that person to take a look at my long range planner...I was NOT planning any such thing! I wanted the executive job. I wanted to wait at least 2 years (not 2 weeks) before conceiving a child, my husband would be military and we would save our money for when we were ready for for our 2.4 children! I've learned that no amount of planning stops the life that God lays before me each and every day. My life is still evolving into the perfect plan. His perfect plan.

Watching my footsteps disappear on the shore as quickly as I make them is a subtle reminder of how short my life is. Each kiss and hug should be cherished, every moment a gift from a father to his child. Time is limited to know, love and serve the one who holds the perfect plan for our lives. My life being so different than what I planned is a testament to how amazing God
is and how He never asks us for more than we can handle...even on those impossibly difficult days of diapers, messy houses, screaming kids and low moral.

The author of my life has written the story perfectly, I can't wait to see what other surprises are in store.(Just no more messy sand in my beach bottoms please.)

The big ones hurt the most.

My kids made a crown of thorns of their very own using the recipe I mentioned in an earlier post. They had a great time mixing, kneading, and rolling the dough into their crown and all the while, kept asking questions about Christ's passion and death. As they placed the thorns into the thick dough, Gus spoke to Jack about how painful it must have been to have such sharp sticks encircling Jesus's head. (This just goes to show how powerful active learning can be with children. It's one thing to talk about Jesus and His sacrifice for our sins, but the lesson becomes "alive" when children work with their hands to create a symbol of His sacrifice.)

Each time a child does a good deed for another, they get to remove a painful "thorn" from our salt-dough crown. Gus is always mindful to take the biggest thorns out first.

Gus: Mom, I'm going to take this bigger thorn out, since it probably hurts the most.

No matter how big or small the sin, it hurts God and distances our relationship with Him. The more we sin, the more thorns in his crown. Regardless of our human flaws and shortcomings, He still loves us and beckons us to be reconciled to him. May this Lent bring us closer to Christ and to fullness of life He promises.

Lenten Sacrifice-Not going well.

I'm really not prepared for Lent this year. Usually there is a nice long break after the season of Christmas where my "religious body clock" recuperates from the joy (and exhaustion) of Christmas and enjoys a well placed Ordinary Time consisting of at least 7-8 weeks. But this was not meant to be this year. Lent is earlier than it's been since the year 1825, and no one told my "body clock" that it needed to prepare. But here is the fact of the matter: When mom is not prepared for Lent, no one around this house is ready for Lent either.

When I asked the kids what they wanted to give up/do for Lent, each of my children looked at me unenthusiastically and chanted what they would give up/do for Lent. Their sacrifices started out pretty good, but went down-hill fast.

Here is the list:

Becca: Pray the rosary every night
Nick: Change Henry's diaper more often
Jack: No chocolate
Gus: Can I give up school?
Henry: No pulling of siblings hair while yelling, "Die, die, die"

On Fat Tuesday, Chris and I took the kids to a favorite Chinese Restaurant to celebrate the beginning of Lent with a feast. The dinner conversation evolved into what mom was going to give up for Lent. Oh, the kids were fast and furious when suggesting possible options for their mom:

Nick: Mom, maybe you could, like, stop yelling at us to do our chores and instead use a soft voice. (All nodded in agreement.)

Me: I'll consider it, Nick. Thanks for the suggestion.

Becca: Maybe you should give up going to
Panera Bread for your daily tea fix.

Me: Well, that's a possibility; although VERY challenging.

Becca: On second thought, you better not give that up. It would be hard on all of us if you did not get your caffeine.

Me: Huh. Very Funny.

Chris: Maybe you could hold your emotions in more.

Me: Wha? (I held my emotions in on that one. Good start.)

OK well, you see where all this went. Downhill people. Downhill! You see that I have my work cut out since I plan to work on two of my family's three suggestions. (There is no way I could give up my tea and work on the other two suggestions with charity). There is nothing like having your family decide what you need to do to sacrifice more. The whole dying to self and sacrificing more for others makes good sense and challenges me, especially when God speaks through those I love.

Are you still needing ideas for how to celebrate Lent in a more meaningful way? Be sure to check out Our Sunday Visitor's Downloadable Lenten Calendar It is colorful, attractive and ready to print out. You can hang it on your fridge, or give it to members of your bible study!

Busted Halo has a wonderful article called, 25 Things you can do for Lent. which is generous with options for the person needing something new to practice.

May you all have a wonderful and blessed Lenten season, and here's to family...always keeping us humble before the Lord.

A note for those of you who have kids in religious education programs:

Here is an edited article I wrote for our youth ministry newsletter:


As a mom to 5 kids and being involved in youth ministry for over 10 years, I suspect you all may be able to relate to the fact that it can be a challenge getting kids to church and to faith development. Sports, school work, home life and family obligations too often guide us away from what we need most: a relationship with Jesus Christ. All too often Jesus lands dead last in our list of priorities when he should be the first on our list.

Our youth group, and its fantastic group of catechists and volunteers strive each week to make the Catholic faith come alive for your young person. Countless hours of planning and organization go into making learning about Jesus interesting, relevant and positive. It's a tall order for any youth program, but we are up to the challenge and believe, with God's help, we will succeed in creating a welcoming environment where the seeds of faith can grow and mature into a life-long love affair with Christ and His church.

But we cannot achieve such high ideals alone. Over 170 youth in the youth program only meet for a total of about 20-30 hours A YEAR! That adds up to about one day out of 365 days in a year. That is a small amount of time to impart the christian values that we hold dear. Parents must engage in their own faith life in order to change the life of their children. Young adolescents respond to the message that their faith offers an alternative to the world. But this realization requires that parents embrace this difference. Explaining to youth that life as a Catholic is different is not enough. Parents must show how to live this difference.

So the bottom line is that we must CARVE out time in our busy day with our kids to improve our relationship with Jesus and to impart the teachings of our church to our kids. How can we do that? Here's a little exercise for you....

My favorite Catholic author, Danielle Bean, in her latest book, Mom to Mom, day to day, challenges parents to make a list of everything they do in a day...from breaking up sibling fights, to driving to school events, chatting with school parent friends, and cleaning up nasty bedrooms. It's not that hard. Write it all down, and be painfully honest. She asks parents to take a careful look at the choices we make on a daily basis. Is it that we don't have time to teach our children some basic Catholic prayers? Or to go to Mass or Reconciliation? Or is it that we simply choose to do something else like watching T.V., surfing the net, or talking on the phone.? These things alone are not bad things, but somehow they come first over talking about God with our children.

I encourage everyone to "Take 10 minutes" a few times a week to go over some basic Catholic teachings with your kids. Use the Catechism of the Catholic Church, The Catholic Source book or The Catholic Youth Bible as your textbook, as well as many other books available online or at your local bookstore. Get started now and make the commitment to raise your child with faith, hope, and love.

Alpha and Omega

There are moments in your life where time seems to stand still. The beauty of life overwhelmingly strikes at your soul and you are left standing looking at your future and your past at the same time. And you are left staring in awe at the picture that surrounds you.

Last Sunday, after Mass, I was visiting with a friend I had known for many years. Jack, Gus and Nick ran to the side of the church to engage in their usual post-mass tag game and Rebecca took baby Henry out into the sunshine to play. As I continued my conversation with my friend, I glanced outside the church window to see a beautiful picture: my oldest conversing with my youngest. It was touching and tender; it was painful and poinant in a weird way. I stopped talking mid-sentence and just stared. I know my friend must have thought that I had either lost my mind or was inexcusibly rude, but I mumbled something like, "hold on a minute, I need to get my camera" and rushed off to capture the beauty on camera.

I don't know exactly what moved me so much. All I know is that time seems to fly around my house with all the craziness around me. Most days I engage in worry and wondering about how I measure up as a mom, if the kids are getting all they need, if I am doing the right things for my family and wether God is as central in my life as He should be. But at the moment I took this picture, I realized that my life will be over as quickly as it started. At one brief moment, I held my firstborn in my arms and now that firstborn will be moving out of the house in 3 short years. I now see my fifth born child, approaching one year of age, and realize he will be in that same position much faster than I ever realized. It kind of hurts...the speed of life. I am pained at the thought that one day I'll miss the smell of my baby's skin, the excitement of my daughters triumphs in high school, the sound of laughter by my little boys and the noise that I too often wish away. It's so important to make each moment matter and to give all the credit and glory to God for this generous gift of life.

I thank God for the reminder, and the stillness of this picture. I'll treasure that moment forever.

Happy 8th Birthday Jack

It's hard to believe our little Jack is already 8!

From the moment we saw your squished up face we were in love. Dad selected your name after praying in St. Patrick's Cathedral and asking God for a healthy happy baby. We knew our prayers had been answered as we watched you grow from a sweet baby to a big 2ND grader and stellar big brother to two younger brothers behind you. You are our middle child; gentle and quiet. Stuck in-between some strong-willed siblings. Thank you Jack for being so gentle and easy-going. Your unassuming demeanor reminds us to be patient and kind with others, and your mischievous, sneaky side always reminds us that you are very much part of this big, loud and crazy family. God knew what he was doing when he sent you to live with us. He knew you would make us a happier family, a more loving family, a more complete family. Without you, we would never have known how to love as deeply as we do now. Thanks Jack-e-boo...we love you.

VBS Sonforce Kids Secret Agents!

There is nothing like the sheer joy and excitement of a well-done vacation bible camp experience for kids. Most of my kids attended this year (all except King Henry)in some capacity and all learned about Jesus in a interactive, and fun way. I was more than impressed when my son Nick, quoted from scripture, when Gus was caught singing the songs from the music class, and when Jack confessed that he could not wait to see what was going to happen next during the drama act that was performed each morning.

It's pure joy and sincere acceptance of what is taught with little questioning or doubt. That is what is so great about being a kid. Jesus is not so far away; kids understand very easily that Jesus is real and living among us. It's not until we grow into young adults and are taught to doubt and question that we start to slip, wander, and wonder why we ever believed in the first place. The joy goes away for some reason.

For now though, I'm enjoying the fact that my little ones know Jesus...probably better than I do, and believe what He teaches from their very core. Vacation bible camps reinforce what is already ingrained in their souls. The love of Jesus for them and their innocent love of Him. Are there vacation bible camps for adults? If so, sign me up!

Barbie Joan

Every year I organize an event I call "Saint Night" for the youth program. The various faith development classes create displays and informative games honoring three select saints a year. This year's saints are Don Bosco, Joan of Arc and Giorgio Frassati. The goal of the saint night is to educate the young people and adults of our parish on how "human" these saints were and how, though flawed, they stayed true to the gospels and lived a life of heroic virtue and faith. It hopefully helps participants relate to these great men and women so that they can see a common element in the lives of the saint with their own. These displays are presented to parents and youth at a large gathering in the gym and is made all the more enticing with everyone bringing a dish to share for a potluck celebration.

The culminating event of the evening is a presentation created by my Junior High Youth Council. In the past, we've performed a play on the life of one of our saints on the school stage. But with the rise of technology and the relative ease of creating movies with video recorders, we have raised the bar by creating an actual film of the saint’s life. The youth council members serve as the actors, the church provides the environment for filming, our caring and sharing center provides the costumes, I served as the organizer and producer and my husband serves as the writer, camera man and editor of the film. (He does a great job although it takes a lot of time.) The saint we decided to tell the story of was Joan of Arc. We researched her life, obtained the actual transcripts of her trial, and filmed her story in an eclectic fashion focusing most of the film on her trial. Now, the youth council was adamant that a burning scene should occur. They felt that since they could not burn a real person, an effigy of one would be really good...almost better than the real thing. HA!

Me: "What do you all want to burn in effigy?"

Youth Council Members (sinisterly): A Barbie!

Me: A Barbie? That looks like Joan of Arc?

Youth Council: Yeah!

So. A Barbie.

Well, we finished filming all the scenes except for the final scene depicting the burning of Joan. We decided to film the scene from our home since we had most of the supplies there. Now, keep in mind that I have young sons. Curious young sons that were very interested in this Barbie burning since they have zero love for such a "useless" toy, but a great love for fire. As we set up the backyard with a stake and enough leaves for smoke, anticipation grew throughout the house. Jack, Gus and Nick were chattering to themselves about the Barbie burning. A couple of youth council kids came over to witness the event. I was sifting through my cabinets for vegetable oil (to douse her in) and matches, and Chris was preparing the camera for the one chance to get it right. In no time we were all gathered at the stake for the burning. The set was quiet. As Chris lit the first match, Gus had a question:

Dad, do all families burn Barbies?

At that point the set burst out in laughter and our noble cameraman stopped the tape. Take Two!!

(I hope to post thel film on the blog through U-Tube, but I need to get permission of parents first.)

Here are some pictures of the filming.

Gus's moment of greatness.

Our newly appointed bishop, Bishop Burbidge, was stopping by Jack and Gus's school for a school Mass, a tour of the school, and lunch with the staff. Gus came came home last week and announced that for the Mass, he would be processing in with the Bishop holding a bouquet of flowers.

Gus: (sullenly) I was picked to carry the flowers for the bishop at Mass.

Jack: (brightly) Oh, Gus, you are so lucky to get to do such a special job!

Gus just grunted and scowled at the thought of having to bring up smelly "girl" flowers. To add insult to injury, he had to process in with, get this, A GIRL from the other kindergarten class. (The horror of it all!) He practiced with the teachers and the other children who had special parts in the Mass a few days before the Mass. I'd asked him how the rehearsal went, but Gus said it was "soooo borring!" Chris and I encouraged our little "crumudgeon" child and reminded him of what an honor it is to be selected for such a special event. "Not everyone gets to have such a special part" I said. After awhile, Gus began to like the idea of this job.

The morning of the big event, Gus dressed up in his best white and blue, slipped on his tennis shoes and ran off to the carpool. Chris, Henry and I drove down to the church and sat in the pew waiting for Mass to begin. I peeked over to the entrance of the church and saw Gus standing there proudly with an arrangement of yellow and green flowers (school colors). As the music began, Gus was directed to walk down the aisle. Sensing that hundreds of people were staring at him and his "girl" flowers, he rushed down the aisle, head downturned, and quickly set his arrangement down on the altar. Gus's sweet female classmate did the same, with much grace and drama, and the two of them turned to face the altar. They were clearly supposed to bow, but not knowing for sure, Gus instead rolled his eyes at the girl, shrugged his shoulders, and trudged his way back to his pew. I just laughed to myself and shook my head not knowing if I should be embarrassed or touched by the whole display.

After Mass, Gus beamed and waved excitedly at me from across the church, proud as punch of his accomplishment. I waved back, smiled and loved my son with every fiber in my being. I was the proud one.

Never forget

Today marks the anniversary of the infamous Roe V. Wade court case which legalized abortion. Kudos to the organizers of the annual March for Life in Washington DC who refuse to let us forget the magnitude of this day and of the millions of babies killed since that dark day in 1973. Join the thousands in DC today by praying for women who are considering an abortion as a viable solution to their situation. Pray that they find support, resources and caring individuals that will help them carry their baby full term. My daughter is in DC today at her first march. She just called a few minutes ago and is having a great time!



For those of you who have never see the movie "Silent Scream", the first anti-abortion film showing a live abortion, you can go HERE to view it. It's grizzly, but a good reminder of what is done in our "clinics of compassion".
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If you are a victim of abortion there is HOPE at the Project Rachael Website. While there, read some of the touching stories of women who went though the heartache of abortion and how they are coping.

Wouldn't that be scandalous!

As we finished our bedtime prayers, I asked Jack and Gus the following questions:

Me: Guys. What is the name of our Pope?

Jack: Benedict

Me: Very good. Now here's the harder question: What is the name of our newly appointed bishop?

Gus: (excitedly) ooh. I know it! It's Bishop BOURBON!

Me: Ha. Very close Gus.....its not Bourbon, it's Burbidge!

We are ALL homeschoolers....

Below is an excerpt from an article written by Leon Suprenent for Catholic Exchange. You can read the full story

here.

"We're all homeschoolers. Twenty years ago, I taught a seventh-grade CCD class composed of public school kids. The class met one hour per week during the school year. After one or two classes, it became abundantly clear to me that there were a couple of kids who were being trained well at home and this class merely supplemented and enriched what they already had learned. The rest were religiously illiterate and not getting much out of the class. Upon some inquiry, I found that most of them were not even taken to Mass on Sunday or in any meaningful way catechized at home."

Let's recommit ourselves into teaching our children the faith in the new year!

The most important day in Henry's life....

Henry in the baptismal garment that was worn by his other three brothers.


One of the biggest reasons I love being Catholic is the fact that the church celebrates seven sacraments: Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Annointing of the Sick and Holy Orders. We CELEBRATE the receiving of these sacraments and grow in holiness when each one is received. Henry became a Christian last week as we baptized him in front of his godparents, family,friends and the entire STM church community. Our fifth child was as good as gold as our pastor slathered him with chrism oil and baptized him (in his birthday suit, no less) in the name of the father, son and holy spirit. His hair smelled of the sweet chrism throughout the week and served as a gentle reminder of our commitment to raise Henry up as a Catholic christian. At our parish, parents are instructed to arrive at the church with the infant clothed in regular baby attire only to change into the white baptismal garment AFTER the actual baptism. (This was not the practice at my home parish where my older children were baptized.) This symbolizes the child becoming holy and clean...white as snow..without sin. After the child has been changed, there is a final blessing in front of the congregation so that all may witness the "new" christian in white and be a part of raising him as a good Catholic. (I'm thankful for this since we need all the help and prayers we can get!) After the baptism, we celebrated with many good friends and family at our home. What a wonderful day to celebrate.... the most important day in Henry's life! His baptism in Christ Jesus!


Fr. John baptizing Henry Ingatius with family and friends witnessing.



Friends and family afterwards...


Godparents: Mary and Scott Workman (My father in law stood in for Scott who is currently serving in the Middle East with the Air Force.)