The inquisition

Jack and Gus were on Spring Break this past week. In order to keep them occupied with things other than video games, I took them to the local hobby store to find a "project" they could work on. It did not go well.

Me: Gus, why don't we buy some airplane models for you and Jack to work on?

Gus: Naw. That is not our "thing". That is Nick's thing. He likes models.

Me: Ok, well, what are you and Jack into these days. What is your thing?

Gus: (pausing for a second and then running over to Jack) Jack, what are we into?

Jack: Video games

Endings. A note to our youth catechists.

As we begin the final three sessions of the faith development year, my mind turns to more sentimental things. Endings. I just hate endings. As you all know, the parish office was demolished last week and a shiny new gym will stand exactly where the old building was. There were many good memories in the parish office for me as well as those I work with. Many years ago it was a convent and was later converted into the STM parish offices. If only those walls could talk!

I was wondering when I looked at the pictures of the destroyed office whether the many hands that worked so diligently all these years had any real effect on the many faces that graced its doorway? Did we make a difference in the lives of the faithful? Was Jesus happy with our ministries and most importantly, did we do justice to being “Christ’s hands and feet?" There were many memorable events over the years. We celebrated with those coming to plan weddings, baptisms, new registrations, conversions etc…but most assuredly there were the days where people came in for help out of desperation and sadness: those hungry, those struggling with fallen away children, an unexpected death and sadness. The parish staff worked hard to understand, listen, serve and hold those who were in pain and suffering. We did what we could and that is all. The Lord took care of the rest. That is our commitment to our calling, our ministry, what we were placed here for.

At the same time, we look toward the ending of the faith development year and the many memories we hold of the junior high youth group and their unique exuberance for life. We have had some great moments where we collected tons of clothes for the poor, invited inpirational speakers such as APeX ministries and Steve Angrisano, had whitewater rafting/skiing adventures, movie nights, open gym nights...we prayed together, laughed together and became friends. All good memories, all good times.

Then there were those tougher things to get through…the challenging kids who proved to be difficult in the classroom, sacramental prep struggles, bilingual barriers, coming unprepared, what seemed like a million distractions, and lack of time to impart the teachings of a very big church. Did you wonder at times if you would ever get this year over with? I did.

But as we near the end of this faith development year, we naturally want to ask ourselves the question, “Did I make a difference with the kids?” Did I do a good enough job? Did I do justice to being “Christ’s hands and feet?” “Does it even matter?”

And these are good questions to ask. Especially at the end of the year.

I don’t know for certain the answer, but I do know of many adults along my journey who helped me in my early years of formation, and I am sure they asked themselves the very same questions. Who were the ones who helped to form you? Did they do a good job?

We are ministers of Jesus and his Church. With Mary as our mother and Jesus as the center of our lives, we impart the wisdom of the faith to the kids each Sunday, and that is all we can do. The Lord takes care of the rest. That is our commitment to this ministry. So walk in confidence that Christ is with you in your class and that while things may not be going so well in the physical world, it is what happens in the supernatural world that counts….and he is there at both. Cheering you on and walking with you and your class and fertilizing the seeds that you are so diligently sowing. So keep sowing and never stop; that is the part that never ends. And that is the part where together, we are making a difference.

Mark. 4: 26 and 27: This is how it is with the kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how.

Cousins, then and now.

Henry and Cousin Mary-2007



Henry and cousin Mary 2009



“Cousins are many. Best friends are few. What a rare delight to find both in you.”

How 'ya doin?

After the wonderful Easter Vigil, our dear family friend Fr. Scott approached me and said, "Do you know what your oldest son did tonight?" I looked at him with dread and said, "Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

He told me anyway.

When 12 year old Nick came up for communion, Fr. Scott raised the host and said, "Body of Christ."

Nick replied in a most honest and sincere way, leaned in and said, " Amen. So, how 'ya doin?"

Yep, my son Nick wanted to start a conversation with the priest in the middle of communion. Totally clueless. Totally sincere. I just love that kid because it all comes from innocence and sweetness.

That whole incident got me to thinking about Nick and his true self. Nick comes by all of this honestly. He has no real sense of the sacred, but neither does his poor mother. It's all learned. I mean, the part that amuses me so much is the many urges I've had over the years to receive communion with more than just an "Amen". Sometimes when I see a Eucharistic minister I know well, I have to hold my spirited self back from saying something similar to "how 'ya doin oh, and thanks for Jesus!" It just seems like the natural thing to do. This person is giving you the most amazing gift of all so it seems appropriate that they receive a hug, embrace, a wink, smile, kiss on the cheek or whatever! It is an intimate act that has profound meaning which has the relational aspect to it suppressed for practical reasons.

What is more interesting is the quiet understated receiving that I have witnessed over the years both as a teenage Eucharistic minister and as an observant adult. That relational piece always finds its way out, which gives me joy that there is more than an 'Amen' going on in the hearts of the faithful. There is real joy, hope, peace in receiving. I've seen tears streaming from older faces, excitement from the first holy communicants, desperation from those truly seeking God, humility, those walking on their knees for miles to receive and blatant disinterest. It's all good; part of the journey; part of what we relate to as human beings.

All in all, a good strong AMEN has it all covered. Nick and I can keep it short, sweet and to the point...but when the innocent blurt out a random comment or smile...there is our God....saying, how 'ya doin. I love you. It is perfect, so, so perfect.

Good Friday

O Jesus, Who by reason of Thy burning love for us
hast willed to be crucified
and to shed Thy Most Precious Blood
for the redemption and salvation of our souls,
look down upon us here gathered together
in remembrance of Thy most sorrowful Passion and Death,
fully trusting in Thy mercy;
cleanse us from sin by Thy grace,
sanctify our toil,
give unto us and unto all those who are dear to us our
daily bread,
sweeten our sufferings,
bless our families,
and to the nations so sorely afflicted,
grant Thy peace,
which is the only true peace,
so that by obeying Thy commandments
we may come at last to the glory of heaven.

Amen.

Roll 'um.

My son Nick is a master procrastinator. That being said, he comes by it honestly since both of his parents are woefully bad at deadlines. Still, it is a challenge for me not to pull my hair out in frustration when Nick comes home mentioning a project that needs to be completed. Here is how this conversation usually rolls:

Me: Nick, do you have any homework tonight?

Nick: Ummmmm. Not really. I just have a small thing to do.

Me: What is it?

Nick: Just a small project for English.

Me: (suspicious) Small project for English? How small?

Nick: Oh, it's no big deal...I just have to make a movie.

Me: Oh. (even more suspicious) When is it due?

Nick: Tomorrow.

Me: WHAT? TOMORROW? Are you crazy Nick???

Anyway, you get the jist and all. I wouldn't react as harshly if it were the first time the boy procrastinated. But he's been doing this since 4th grade and giving me a heart attack each time.

Now in the beginning of this habit, I would help him get out of the mess he put himself in. Many a night he and I would stay up and complete a poster board of a famous individual, or a collage, or diorama and the list goes on. But since he has been in Middle School, I rarely help him out of these predicaments. This is a good thing since theoretically he will learn that there are consequences to waiting until the last minute..and that he will learn from that, and that he will start earlier on these projects, and that he will realize that projects that get the best grades are the ones that you slave over....theoretically.

OK, so back to the movie he needed to make.  Nick only had  a few hours to complete the project. 

"Nick!" I exclaimed, "You don't even know HOW to make a movie, much less how to operate the camera or even make a story board! I can't help you out of this mess, Nick. I don't even know how to make a movie!" Nick looked at me calmly and said, "Mom, don't worry..I know what I am doing!" I glared in anger at my 12 year old (having heard that phrase before) and waved him away to start doing whatever he was going to do.Unfazed by my attitude Nick said, "Can I borrow your camera?" "Yes" I reluctantly replied, "but don't break it!"

A few minutes later, a couple of neighborhood kids knocked on the door and asked to see Nick. They had been enlisted by him to be his actors. I heard some running around, bumps and clunks and soon after, they went home.  Nick went upstairs to the computer to begin his editing work.  I just waited.  Waited for my son to do what he normally does in these instances, and that is to come down the stairs whining about how much work he has left to do on his project.  I waited some more.  No Nick.  

After about an hour and a half, knowing that it was late, and feeling Nick's pain a bit I decided  to go upstairs to offer any help.  There he was, sitting at the computer shuffling things around on the screen, typing words, playing with music....all kinds of things.  I walked closer to get a better look.  

I just stood there amazed.  He had basically finished the project  and it was interesting...I mean for a 12 year old who had never made a movie....it was amazing!  And I had NO idea how he did it!!  

"Mom, do you like it? What do you think?  Should I add music here?  How about if I add an accent?"  I just sputtered out something like, "Nick, where did you learn how to do this?"  "Oh, remember that movie making camp you sent me to last summer?  I learned it there."  

Oh.  He learned how to make a movie at the movie camp last summer.  Imagine that.  Amazing.  I stood humbled and proud and shocked and a little embarrassed that I did not have enough faith in my son to complete what he said he could complete.  I apologized to Nick and told him that I was delighted in his project.
you.

Before you watch Nick's 47 second movie, I'll let you know that he was to create a movie based on a book he read in class....a short preview of the book, if you will.  

I don't know if he learned any valuable lessons from this project, but he did prove his mom wrong. You GO Nick! I love to be surprised by you.

Now that is my type of humor....

Pandora-Internet Radio

Now I may be a little late to the party, but if you have not yet learned of the Human Genome Project---a project developed by musicians that group certain styles of music that you enjoy into an Internet radio---it's time to pay the website a visit!  You simply enter one of your favorite artists, and the Internet radio selects an array of songs/artists that you will enjoy. It's kind of scary in a way. It seems to know exactly what you want to hear and plays the songs in a pleasant order.

To access the radio, called Pandora, here and enjoy the music!! while you surf the net!! (BTW, for those of you with the I-pod touch or the I-phone, there is a app for Pandora that you can download.)

Haircut Season!

Line 'em up!  It's time for summer cuts!

Henry Before:

Henry after!!

The Annunciation

This feast symbolizes and celebrates the announcement of the incarnation by the Angel Gabriel to the Virgin Mary, and the conception of Christ in her womb.  

The story of the Annunciation, meaning the announcing, from the Latin annuntiare, is told in Luke's gospel. At the Annunciation, the angel Gabriel announces to Mary that she will conceive a Son, and his name will be Jesus. His greeting, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you" has echoed down through the ages in many prayers, and is known as the "Hail Mary." Mary is initially confused as to how she will bear God's Son, seeing as she is a virgin. The angel then explains that the Holy Spirit will come upon on her. This is why when we recite the Nicene creed we say "by the power of the Holy Spirit, [Jesus] was born of the Virgin Mary and became man." The Apostles Creed likewise affirms that Jesus was "conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit." Thus, the Feast of the Annunciation is the beginning of Jesus' miraculous life, and it begins with the theotokos conceiving Jesus by the Holy Spirit's power.

Mary's response to the angel, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your word," (Latin: ecce ancilla Domini; fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum) is a statement of humble faith, and a model for how we are to respond when God calls us to do what seems impossible. This response is called Mary's fiat, from the Latin word meaning "let it be done." The Catechism addresses the significance of Mary's faith in relation to her role as Christ's mother:

By pronouncing her "fiat" at the Annunciation and giving her consent to the Incarnation, Mary was already collaborating with the whole work her Son was to accomplish. She is mother wherever he is Savior and head of the Mystical Body (973).

HT: Churchyear.net

The Formation of Conscience

I was walking through Gus's school last night and saw a display of crosses created by the 2nd graders. Beside each cross was a petition to God. I was moved when I read the simplicity and honesty of my son's petition:

Dear God: Help me to be nicer to my brothers Nick and Jack because I yell at them too much.

If only my petitions were as simple and straightforward.

Ash Wednesday

A friend mentioned that as a former Catholic, she never knew exactly why she gave up things for Lent. She said that no one ever explained the reasoning behind having to give up particular foods, habits, etc. Of course she found it a dull, dry and hollow tradition. I paused and had to remember the reasons behind the whole "giving something up" for Lent in my Catholic tradition. At times it feels hard to explain, but once reminded, I am grateful for a time in the year where my habits are challenged...and challenged for a really, really good reason.

One of the best ways to begin Lent is with the Holy Father’s message:

From what I have said thus far, it seems abundantly clear that fasting represents an important ascetical practice, a spiritual arm to do battle against every possible disordered attachment to ourselves. Freely chosen detachment from the pleasure of food and other material goods helps the disciple of Christ to control the appetites of nature, weakened by original sin, whose negative effects impact the entire human person. Quite opportunely, an ancient hymn of the Lenten liturgy exhorts: “Utamur ergo parcius, / verbis cibis et potibus, / somno, iocis et arctius / perstemus in custodia – Let us use sparingly words, food and drink, sleep and amusements. May we be more alert in the custody of our senses.”

May we all find freedom from our human desires and seek God in all that we say and do this Lent.

Mardi Gras Madness!

The other night, I organized a mini Mardi Gras event for the youth group complete with D.J., King Cakes, silly carnival games and lots of door prizes! The event went smoothly and attracted around 100 youth group kids and their friends. Of course, my boys were very interested in attending an event where there would be food and prizes. They found my box of wacky Mardi Gras costumes and decided to show them off for the camera! Doesn't Henry look fabulous in purple??

Here's to ringing in the Lenten season with plenty of fun and frolik!

6 boy pile-up

Since I have four boys in my house, it is expected that these boys will want other, louder, more boisterous boys over for some play time.  I don't know why they can't settle for each other...I mean, I think I have been plenty generous in giving them enough male siblings to pick from (don't you think?) but alas, they eventually beg for another male friend to play with. When the friend/friends come over, rough play becomes part of the play-time routine.  Boys can't help it.  They have the desire to dominate in their nature.  The rough play starts innocently enough, starting with the universal name for all buddies:"Dude". It usually goes something like this:  

Boy #1 "Hey, Dude, check out my moves with the sword." 

Boy #2:  "Awww, Dude, yeah, that is pretty cool, can I fight you?" 

Boy #3:  "Yeah, Dude, let's train to be fighters! We will have a competition to see who is best."

Boy #4:  "Doooooood, you can't beat me, my dad tells me I'm the best fighter in the neighborhood."

OK, so you see the progression here.  They eventually invite as many testosterone filled boys to participate, challenge each other and finally move toward wrestling. (All of this despite the pleadings of the mom to "be careful or you'll take someones eye out!!")  This gets especially interesting during the winter months when much of this behavior moves inside.  

Boys come by this naturally; mostly by learning from other boys.  They give each other advice, encourage more daring moves and take pride in showing the younger set "how it's done."  This brings us to a moment this past holiday where there were 6 boys involved in competitive wrestling in my house (see pic).  Now the interesting part of this is that while these boys were wrestling on the ground, King Henry decided that it looked really fun. He decided to insert himself in the activity by jumping off the ottoman onto the pile of arms and legs below. 

We all were shocked at the enthusiasm of our 2 year old!  He was not afraid, he was empowered!!!  Over and over Henry would release a guttural growl, and then fly through the air onto the pile.  Why not?  His brothers were doing it and Henry loves his brothers.  See, there you have it, learned behavior...all in the span of 10 minutes. 

Part of me watched and enjoyed every minute...part of me just wanted to scream, "Dude!!!  Watch out for your baby brother!!!"

2009 Clemens Family Superbowl Predictions

Jack: Cardinals 21, Steelers 14
Gus: Cardinals 37, Steelers 27
Becca: Cardinals 26, Steelers 20
Nick: Cardinals 39, Steelers 47
Dad: Cardinals 17, Steelers 21
Mom: Cardinals 27, Steelers 28
Henry: no opinion

Superbowl cuisine: Create your own taco (bar), chips and hot sauce, grapes, lemonaide and for dessert: create your own ice cream Sundae!!

Just for kicks, the entire family is rooting for the Cardinals....because we are Catholic!!

Snow in the Carolinas!

It was a great day here in North Carolina! We had upwards of 3 inches of powdery snow which made the conditions perfect for sledding! School was cancelled, but the kids were up and ready for sledding at 7:00am! (Even King Henry was eager to experience all that "rain"). Our family home is the privileged neighborhood home that was built on a steep hill. I'm not sure if living on this hill is a blessing or a curse some days, but I am positive it is the place TO PLAY on a snowy day!

If it has not snowed at your house yet, I hope you get some soon. In the meantime, bask in the snowy pics!


Jack, Nick and Gus ready to slide down the hill.
Jack in the falling snow
Rebecca eating the snow King Henry offers.

LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

On the eve of this momentous inauguration, I ask you all you pause to watch this very short clip on the potential of LIFE. I understand that there are many hardships that would justify the act of abortion and I am sympathetic and understanding of the difficult situation a woman with an unplanned pregnancy faces. But I feel more strongly that the LIFE inside the woman has the right to its own LIFE. Hope is what this country is all about and we throw it away at over 1.1 million lives a year. Let us extend Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to all our citizens, especially the smallest among us.

I thirst...

Well, Danielle Rose does it again. She has released another amazing inspirational album of faith titled "I thirst". Her combination of folk/contemplative music sends me into an immediate state of prayer. Her lyrics are filled with scripture references as well as reminders to strive for humility, grace and making Jesus the center of the family. A clear tribute to all that Mother Teresa worked toward as an example for all of us. I highly recommend this album for anyone needing peace from the sometimes hectic world in which we live. Listen to some of her songs at the Catholic Music Network and then buy her album!

Music and Arts

Music is a big part of our lives here at the Clemens compound. We listen to all types of music most of the day. We have i-pods, an i-pod dock in the kitchen and playroom as well as radios that play all sorts of music. At at least two times a day you will hear one, maybe two, of my children practicing either an electric piano, trombone, french horn, trumpet or guitar. Sometimes it is a painful experience for a parent to hear the squeeks and squaks of an instrument that is just being learned, but most times it is a joy to hear the sounds of music at the hands of your offspring. Actually it is delightful.

At times, I will be outside on the porch swinging with Henry, and hear Rebecca's soulful trombone playing from her room. Henry is accustomed to her practice times and listens as well. "Trombone" he softly says through his binky. She plays a piece, stops, adjusts her technique, tries again and again. The sounds lilts outside the house and down the road, bounces off neighbors homes... for all to hear. I am amazed that a child that came from my body is so good at something that is completely foreign to me. It's a mystery to me that while children come to this world with some characteristics of their parents, still have a unique individualism that makes them who they are...separated from their parents. Aren't they supposed to be just like us??

As a parent, I've made it a priority that my kids learn to play at least one instrument. It teaches more than just notes, but an appreciation of sounds, emotion, the musician, as well as instilling a sense of discipline and hand-eye coordination. All good things, all worthy educational experiences even if they don't end up playing in the best orchestras. The local school band is great to me.

That being said, I was at a loss for Jack and Gus. My "irish twins" who are 8 and 9 lacked any real instruction in any instrument. I looked around for something they could learn together, but had no idea what to guide them toward, they are so young. Luckily I ran into an old friend who is a master musician in her own rite. She was giving lessons in none other than....the violin. "Violin", I thought. Now that's an idea!

I went home and shared my idea with the boys. Jack instantly became excited about the prospect of becoming a violin player. Gus? No dice. He scowled at the idea and said "I'm not doing it." "Too bad", I responded, "It will be good for you." I started researching how to find a decent violin and quickly found hundreds of inexpensive violins for sale on e-bay. Believe it or not, I discovered some brand new, cheaply made violins for only $50 a piece. They were awesome for starter violins and so I plotted to purchase the violins for Christmas have the boys open their instruments on Christmas day.

Long story short, the boys opened their violins on Christmas, and even Gus excitedly exclaimed, "I didn't know I would get my own violin!!! That's awesome!"

Since then, the boys have begun their lessons and are totally on board (for now.) I did, however, catch them trying to use the violin bows as swords the other day (so tempting!!). They have learned some fingering, how to hold the instrument and have learned a short song! And while their playing is not exactly music to my ears, it is....totally delightful!

Confused?

It's December 29th. It's winter! It's warm.

I look out the window into the yard and see 6 boys (3 of them mine) playing with waterguns.

They walk in the house totally soaked.

Summer fun?