Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Alpha and Omega
There are moments in your life where time seems to stand still. The beauty of life overwhelmingly strikes at your soul and you are left standing looking at your future and your past at the same time. And you are left staring in awe at the picture that surrounds you.
Last Sunday, after Mass, I was visiting with a friend I had known for many years. Jack, Gus and Nick ran to the side of the church to engage in their usual post-mass tag game and Rebecca took baby Henry out into the sunshine to play. As I continued my conversation with my friend, I glanced outside the church window to see a beautiful picture: my oldest conversing with my youngest. It was touching and tender; it was painful and poinant in a weird way. I stopped talking mid-sentence and just stared. I know my friend must have thought that I had either lost my mind or was inexcusibly rude, but I mumbled something like, "hold on a minute, I need to get my camera" and rushed off to capture the beauty on camera.
I don't know exactly what moved me so much. All I know is that time seems to fly around my house with all the craziness around me. Most days I engage in worry and wondering about how I measure up as a mom, if the kids are getting all they need, if I am doing the right things for my family and wether God is as central in my life as He should be. But at the moment I took this picture, I realized that my life will be over as quickly as it started. At one brief moment, I held my firstborn in my arms and now that firstborn will be moving out of the house in 3 short years. I now see my fifth born child, approaching one year of age, and realize he will be in that same position much faster than I ever realized. It kind of hurts...the speed of life. I am pained at the thought that one day I'll miss the smell of my baby's skin, the excitement of my daughters triumphs in high school, the sound of laughter by my little boys and the noise that I too often wish away. It's so important to make each moment matter and to give all the credit and glory to God for this generous gift of life.
I thank God for the reminder, and the stillness of this picture. I'll treasure that moment forever.