Wednesday, April 11, 2007

On a serious note: Duke Lacrosse

All right already. I've just watched the special report on the ending of the Duke Lacrosse case where three Duke Lacrosse players were accused of raping a dancer/prostitute during a Lacrosse party at a home in Durham. The newly appointed DA in the case, after reviewing all the information on the case, has pronounced these three young men innocent of all charges brought against them. INNOCENT of the CHARGES. Now. For some reason, this whole news-story makes me hot. Totally angry. Not with the injustice of Mike Nifong and his charade, not with the numerous stories offered by the dancer, not with Duke, or the media. What made me upset enough to write about this was watching these three boys on T.V. proclaiming how they were totally innocent the whole time and how justice prevailed. One of the boys insisted that they did nothing wrong and how for the rest of his life would fight for truth and right. Everyone in the room was clapping and speaking on what fine men they were! Bah!! GIVE ME A BREAK BOYS!! For shame, for shame, for shame!! In my view, they may have been innocent of the charges brought against them, but they were NOT innocent of immoral behavior. Why was no one criticizing the fact that these young men hired a PROSTITUTE to DANCE for them in a SCANTILLY CLAD outfit so that they could get their sexual jollies, drink, and spend dad's money? Why didn’t these boys stand up in front of the media and apologize to the world for taking their God given gifts and instead of using them for good, for leadership opportunities, for being young men that children could look up to, used them for evil? Why didn't the media question them on the moral reasons for behaving in such a manner? Really! Had they done that, then and only then would they have earned my respect. All I hold for them is pity. What a lost opportunity.

Well Georgie, you say, boys will be boys. And that's what boys do..hire strippers! I say if you believe that, then you are part of the problem. As long as our society has a double standard for what is acceptable behavior for college aged boys and refuses to hold them responsible for what is good, moral and right, then cases such as these will continue as well as the continual decay of morality.

As a mother of four boys, I come at this news story at a totally different angle. If that were MY son in college and I found out that he was gathering with a group of his "friends" at a party where drinking, stripping and heavy partying was going on? God help his SOUL!! There would be no excuses. I would yank him out of that school, throw him in the local community college and he would work every day to pay back every dime of college money he owed me. College is a privilege, not a right. If one of my children abuses the privilege, it gets taken away. Period. Any child of mine who has time for that kind of behavior at a college campus does not need to attend college. After all, it's not my job to get my child in to Harvard; it's my job to get them to heaven.

Besides all that, imparting to my kids that the APPEARANCE of impropriety can be just as bad or WORSE than the actual act (this case is a classic example of that) itself is imperative in child rearing. I was just telling Rebecca the other day that " hanging out" with potheads will automatically create suspicion from adults that you are a POT SMOKER as well! (Not that she is hanging around smokers, but an old friend of hers is.) It's not rocket science, just human nature! Similarly, if you are hanging around people who hire strippers, you just may be accused of rape! When you play with fire, you are likely to get burned.

These Duke Lacrosse players were playing with fire. Innocent? Only God knows.


Anonymous said...

After all, it's not my job to get my child in to Harvard; it's my job to get them to heaven.

oh how, I wish more parents would have the same mindset as you! i even know parents who are very upset their kids are not in school because they decided to join a contemplative order, instead of followng the 'norms'.

Catherine Pigg said...

THANK YOU!!! I've been thinking the same thing from the beginning of this mess. I actually heard a radio host express my feelings pretty well when it all started. He said, "There ARE NO 'white hats' in this mess. Even if they're 'innocent,' you tell me how they come off looking good for hiring stripper/prostitute!" So right, so right. And I appreciate that you have perspective -- the RIGHT perspective -- on what a parent's job really is. We really should meet someday. Tim thinks I'd like you. :-)

Chad said...

Amen, Georgie.

We will never know exactly what happened that night in Durham, but no one came out of the whole thing smelling good.

And somehow, despite how insane your second-youngest is, I don't think you have to worry.